I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
PANTIES FOUND
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
