What a fucking waste of an outfit
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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