just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
