Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
