FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
