Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
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So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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