yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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