bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize