he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
