Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
