He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
