Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
