I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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