apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
