I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
