I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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