Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
