he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
