Don't you send me to vm
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
