just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
