I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
