Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
soo... how was my night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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