My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
