you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
