I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
