Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
