My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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