The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We had to coat check the pizza.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
