I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You left your phone here
Wait...
Come on in and take your pants off
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