sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize