he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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