Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
