Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
tell me about the eggs
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize