Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
