16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
