Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
its liver damage thursday
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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