I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
