Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
