Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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