singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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