You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
