So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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