where am i from again
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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