i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
