I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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