just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
3pm strippers are depressing
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
