I'm really into asian looking animals
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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