They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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