i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
