drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
