i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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