Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
