I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
