How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
