I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was confusing and full of hummus
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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