I must be too annoying 4 u.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
