sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
