so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
