wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
